A Beautiful Disruption: A(my) Soul Story. 💛

Obviously this says that this book was written by GG Renee Hill but if you know me at all. If we've ever had a heart to heart conversation and you read this book then you will know that this whole book give or take some minor details was taken from my journal and published. Because when I say I relate, I RELATE.

Actually it goes so much deeper than just relating, I lived it. I'm still living parts of it and that is what makes this piece of literature so amazing. Maybe I'm biased because I'm a fan of GG's work or maybe I'm just at a loss for words that articulate my feelings as deeply as I feel them but to say the least this book hit me hard. It's always a crazy but almost pleasantly painful experience to either see a movie or read a story that connects to yours and not in a reliving the good moments type of way. But in more of a how in the world did you get inside my head and see my secrets? Let alone spill them kind of way. Exposed, vulnerable and relieved all at the same time.

In the beginning I was just excited to read it, halfway through the book I felt like I was reading it both too fast and not fast enough. I wanted to absorb it all as fast as I could but also didn't want it to end because then I wouldn't have any more words to read, any more of GG's realness to drink into my soul. I wanted to continue to hear the voice in my head that spoke the story out loud as I read the words on the page. So I slowed down and started reading each page twice then halfway through the book I put it down. I just paused and set it aside for a week or two. Upon picking it up again, I was drawn right back in.

By the last 50 pages or so, I was in tears. It was a mix between feeling empowered that I could be a better me, make better choices and not let my past define me. And being proud that someone I care about, another woman in general, found the strength to know her worth. Sees herself in a new light and accepts herself for exactly who she is. Accepts all her little things as precious pieces that come together to make a beautiful picture that is who she is. It made me reflect on my life, who I was and who I am growing into.

It was raw, honest, heartwarming, comforting, painful, reassuring and familiar. Like staring into a mirror that somehow shows you the past, present and future. It was like having a friend, an extra conscience and fairy godmother to share her story while simultaneously saying that you yourself are going to make it. It reminds me of something Maya Angelou once said. Something along the lines of teaching by being. Leading by example. That's what this book made me feel.

GG has a habit of speaking to the deepest part of my soul. It baffles me how she never fails to somehow make me want to wipe the dust from my dark corners. The parts of me that I thought I didn't want to see again or was pretty sure that I buried. I'm not an expert on how the universe works, how people are connected and such. But GG is a kindred spirit if I ever did see one. I could go on and on about her and her work but I will be writing all night trying to find the words that accurately depict the feels going on in my heart of hearts for her. What I will say is that this book is necessary.

Absolutely, painstakingly NECESSARY.

Simply and powerfully written.